Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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