I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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