Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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