Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
