Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
