took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
