If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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