Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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