We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
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Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
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We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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