She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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