Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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