Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
