I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
