Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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