The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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