a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize