Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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