I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
