we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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