you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
