Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
