i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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