i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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