It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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