Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
