literally had 100 drinks last night.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
