To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
