If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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