I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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