If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
