His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
