The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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