we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
