I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
