If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
