i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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