Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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