The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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