ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
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My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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