used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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