There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
