yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
