he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
