My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Randomize
