if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
