oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Girls should come with a carfax report
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
