he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
