shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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