He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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