The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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