Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
