I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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