I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
