so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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