Don't make out with my wife yet
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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