How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
