Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
