dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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