New invention idea: vibrating tampons
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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