i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
