I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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