he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.