He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do