Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
