if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
