we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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