After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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