My Higher Power is John Stamos
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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